Woman Up!
14 Dec 2017Respect. What everyone deserves is respect regardless of their gender or sexual orientation or race or any other social standings. It’s a human right for every person to be respected, professionally or personally. However, the biting reality is that many do not receive the respect they deserve, or rather earn. What in fact is scary about this? The mere action(s) of not showing respect towards another person is implicit, meaning the person doing the disrespecting may not even realize it. No matter the circumstances, these habits, if it could be called that, is often seen when males dominate the field and females not so much.
Why Does Acknowledging Your Gender Matter?
I, for one, absolutely do not like bringing gender into any argument, unless it’s called for. In this case, females have always been the underdog in many societies, including Western and Eastern societies. And change towards a more gender equal society is slow, painfully slow. As a female, it is difficult to see other females enduring such hardships simply because of their gender; it’s downright unjust. After having a conversation about male dominated fields, I was told this by a male professor, Dr. Richard Rapson: “No matter how strong and independent women want to be in a male dominated society, they will never receive the respect or acknowledgements they deserve.” All gender aside, these words hold a chilling reality, one that I’ve experienced.
Disrespect and denial of communication is something I have personally experienced as a female in Computer Science, an obviously male dominated field. Being aware of the small margin of females in Computer Science, with the numbers slowly growing, is important as it’s hard to acknowledge how much testosterone is in the room. Even though I say this, all genders were treated as equals in many of my Computer Science courses, with the full package of respect and effective communication. No qualms were experienced and everyone was acknowledged as equally intelligent (aside from those who are crazy smart!). As one could guess, having to deal with utter disrespect was a right hook to my gut.
It’s Time to Have a Talk
Being in a small group for a project is one thing, being the only female in the group is another. Of course without prior experience of being disrespected, I expected to be treated as an equal in this group, which was my mistake. Within a span of a month and a half, I constantly argued with these teammates of mine and was consistently ignored. Additionally, none of my input, such as scheduling issues, were ever taken into account as my teammates made plans amongst themselves. I also received no appreciation whatsoever for finishing much of the project as none of my teammates ever said “Thank you.” As one could see, this environment is very psychologically distressing to the point where I almost couldn’t juggle all my work at once. It was as if my head was exploding and screaming at the same time in that time span. I very much felt the presence of stereotype threat in this situation. What is stereotype threat you may ask? It is when the mind forms a conscious association of being judged in real-time based on one’s gender, race, ethnicity, or any other social construct which negatively affects their performance.To note, the American Psychological Association (APA) has a short introductory article on stereotype threat with more information about it. In my situation, I was constantly reminded that this disrespect possibly stemmed from my gender, which obviously impaired my overall performance. Stereotype threat is real in almost any setting, no matter what anyone says.
And if you may be wondering why I didn’t explain my situation to my team? The reasoning is simple if it’s put into perspective. I ask this: what are the chances of my team acknowledging my efforts to create a better environment if they refused to listen and ignored what I said, thereby rejecting my very presence before? I would say the chances are slim, very very slim of being heard at all. This is not to say I condone their actions or want to avoid the situation by any means. I’d say do the opposite: use this experience to trust in your worth.
Growing up in a female empowering environment, I was taught to stand up for myself not just as a female but as a person and do what I believe is morally correct. The heartbreaking contradiction is that it would be extremely difficult for anyone in this situation, social constructs aside, to attempt to get anyone to listen to their words if no one wants to listen. Past experience has taught me that confrontation is not always the best course of action, no matter what one’s moral compass tells them to do. Any social situation such as this is particularly difficult to endure, yet, those who have been through these situations can learn from this experience. Learn to be empowered and Stand Up For Yourself! Whether it is confrontation or understanding how the situation is immoral or not, being able to understand your worth as a person and how something like gender is important in every life setting: school, work, and even social life is key. As a fellow woman in a male dominated field, I say be proud! Be proud that you are surviving in this male world, believe and recognize that you deserve respect and acknowledgement as a fellow computer scientist.
